shit I reallyy hate

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7. Slacktivism

I don’t even know how to tackle a huge piece of shit that I hate like slacktivism, so we’ll start at something pretty fucking ridiculous.

Yeah so you know what I fucking hate? Child abuse. So you know what I’m going to do? Change my profile picture on facebook to Helga G Pataki for the first 6 days of December. Fuck you, child abuse.

What?

Are you kidding? I read some fucker seriously try to argue that by changing his profile picture he raised awareness of child abuse and “probably” inspired people to donate time and money to the cause. Not him, of course, but other people, surely.

Yeah I’m sure this happened all the time.

No. All that changing your profile picture did was make you feel like you had less of an obligation to be a contributing member to society. Even Mark Zuckerberg is like “Uh…”
What a crock of shit.

I’ve been looking into stuff about this and people continually argue that “Slacktivism” at least gets people interested in shit. SO WHAT? People heard about child abuse before, they knew what it was. Paying attention to it for 6 days out of a year on FACEBOOK is hardly positive attention. I would argue it’s worse because they feel they’ve done their part and they forget about it as soon as the activism period is over anyway! I haven’t heard one motherfucker say a thing about child abuse since December 7th.

And then there’s pink washing for breast cancer. Holy shit. According to this chick’s book, based on 7 years of research, pink washing is a load of bullshit. Who would’ve guessed that people using breast cancer as an excuse for you to buy their yogurt and pink measuring cups might actually just be exploiting breast cancer for profit!? OH WAIT, anyone who spent more than 30 seconds thinking about it. People with breast cancer agree: buying pink merch to raise awareness is fucking stupid, and so are you for buying into it.

Then some bitch tried to defend slacktivism by saying allowing people to donate to Haiti via text message raised $13 million. I would like to point out here that donating $10 is actually doing something, you fucking asshole. Whoever came up with the ingenious idea of “text to donate” is a fucking hero.

Goddamnit. I don’t need to explain to you shitheads how you’re not doing shit and don’t take credit and act like you are. Get off your ass and do something. Or don’t, but don’t fucking act like the useless shit you do is at all helping anyone. Hey, remember that time there was a COLON CANCER AWARENESS MONTH? No? Well it’s March. Start making some blue merchandise to scam housewives with, surely you will make tons of money of it. Make some puns, too, like “I HAVE A SEMI COLON SINCE I GOT CANCER”.

Fucking assholes.

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