A couple friends and I got sushi today at a restaurant. We were polite little fucks, didn’t walk in and be rude to anyone or shout obscenities (at first)— nothing. We were totally nice! Whatever! And our waitress was such a BITCH. I’m hoping it was just like, she was new and maybe nervous so she didn’t know how to talk to people but holy god. She didn’t smile once, looked like we were bothering her by being there, talked at us like we were small, annoying children, threw our plates/glasses on the table like we were very lucky to be getting fed.
FUCK OFF. Okay, I have friends who like, talk about how “Yeah I just don’t put as much effort into serving college students because they don’t tip as much.”
Correlation or causation here? Where is the logic? When you are a shitty waiter, I’m going to tip you less. When you go to work miserable and act miserable, you’re going to have a shitty day. Just put on a fucking happy face for me, it’s not like I don’t have a job that I have to do where I go serve assholes all day but I never let them know I think they’re assholes. For one because I’m polite, but for two because if it wasn’t for the customer base I WOULDN’T HAVE A JOB.
I went to my friend’s birthday party at Tony’s, a pizza place in Cedar Falls, a couple weeks ago. It was like, wooh cool whatever. A party of maybe 12. Not totally nuts. Our speech team goes out every weekend in groups of 13-15 and people are nicer than this waiter was.
Basically everything we asked for, even “Can I get a refill when you have the chance?” garnered this response:
Dude. Come on. Get me a fucking refill or I really will leave you a shitty tip.
I’m a firm believer in 20% tipping, and I only dock % points if the staff is really mean. Not if they’re slow or awkward or if mistakes happen. Only if they’re douchebags. Which happens on a much higher frequency when I’m with someone my own age as opposed to when I’m with my mother.
Anyway, he was a big old doody head about things like getting us refills and us asking if they had a certain type of salad dressing, and it was the girl’s BIRTHDAY. And she works at APPLEBEE’S so it isn’t like she didn’t understand. In fact, as a waiter or waitress, you can usually assume most people over the age of 20 have had some kind of customer service job in their life that made them want to tear their fucking hair out but they did it anyway.
He was a curt fuckhead though. The entire night. For no reason. I ordered a drink and he acted like having to get a drink from the bar was going to break his fucking legs. When I asked if he liked one type of beer more than the other, he scratched his forehead and stared at me. Didn’t even say, “I don’t drink beer.” or “I don’t like either.” or “I don’t know.” Just stared at me like I was fucking moron.
He brings the check as one big check for 12 of us and we’re like, oh sorry, can we get it separately? And I understand that that takes an extra couple of minutes and it’s a pain in the ass but SERIOUSLY, THIS FUCKER THREW THE RECEIPT OVER HIS SHOULDER, SIGHED HEAVILY, THREW HIS PEN, AND SAID “OKAY.”
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? And then assholes like that have the fucking GALL to blame it on us being college-aged? No, motherfucker, you saw me, you stereotyped me, you created a self-fulfilling prophecy and give me my own fucking check. Dickwad. Never mind the fact that you are already gauranteed a tip because gratuity is included on a group of over 8 people.
Here’s the deal: you learned the golden rule in kindergarten. Maybe preschool. Maybe your fucking parents instilled it in you. I don’t treat people like shit, you shouldn’t either.